My Boyfriend Says the Darnest Things (& this time, so does my best friend)

(Trying to convince boyfriend to watch Coraline, as I've already bought it on Blu-ray.)
Me: Watch Coraline!
Daryl: Nooooo, I don't like it!
Me: How would you know you don't like it if you haven't seen it?
Daryl: I've seen the trailer so many times! I don't like it! (in high-pitch voice) Ooooh! Buttons for my eyes! (in normal voice again) I don't like it! Noooooooooooooooooooo!
Me: -___-

& this below is the conversation my best friend had with Daryl.
Ting: So in the first year, you can't commit suicide ok?
Daryl: Uh, ok.
Ting: & then from the second year onwards, you can.
Daryl: ...
Ting: & when you commit suicide, make sure you die ok? Or else will suffer.
Daryl: (to me) Did she just say 'when'?
Me: (shocked) Ting! Why did you say 'when' & not 'if'? :o
Ting: (laughing) Oh dear, did I?

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