Sunday, February 22

Ok Vidz, I'm updating!

Well, let's see. Friday, we didn't go to Suntec. Went to PS & guess what? We went to Cafe Cartel to have dinner at my insistence. Mistake. Big big mistake. But I don't know why. I just really wanted to see him bad. & he seemed surprised(unpleasantly I must add) to see me. I was like big smiles all around & he looked so awkward, & he gave me the weird kind of hi. It hurts so goddamn much.

Had pasta but didn't have the appetite. Knowing that he was just so near to me...Vidz was complaining about how we shouldn't have chosen Cafe Cartel. He was just bustling around inside, & my heart constricted. I miss him. I miss him so goddamn much.

Wei Liang joined us for a couple of hours after that...we were just hanging around in HMV...& we went back to PS's Gelare to eat ice-cream. As I walked past Cafe Cartel, I just felt like I had to look. I would stare & stare. I stared so much he turned around & I had to wave bye to cover up my own stupidity. Vidz & Wei Liang had to keep blocking me from the glass panel. I think I ate too much or something. After the ice-cream, while we were at the MRT station, I felt bloody uncomfortable & puked pasta from the nose. Bloody fantastic. Vidz went off first coz' her dad was picking her up. So Wei Liang & I went back to PS & had hot tea & Macs. Kept looking in the direction of Cafe Cartel though. Kept wondering when he was knocking off & all. Wondered what was wrong with me. Sam you stupid moron.

After that, I took a cab home, & proceeded to puke everything else out. & oh yeah, I had diarrhoea. Bloody marvelous. Food poisoning? Probably. Anyway, Ting called me. She said if it matters so damn much to me, talk to him for god's sake. It's not like I don't want to, my dear. It's really up to him whether he would even want to talk to me. Vidz was like, 'You need a closure girl, or this thing wouldn't end.' & yeah, if it doesn't end, you'll probably get me going all weird on you regularly. Lol...I guess I'll give it a little more time, before I request to talk. But I don't know. It wouldn't make a difference whether we talk or not. I'm going to be back at square one. Gosh. What the hell is wrong with me? Cried myself to sleep that night. Sam you idiot.

Did filming for Daryl yesterday. I went down to school at 4.45PM, filming wrapped up at 6AM. Lol...didn't know I could survive that. Loads of waiting involved. We moved from location to location, but spent most of the time waiting by the roadside at Sunset Way. I was so tired of waiting, I resorted to sprawling on the road. Had a disturbed nap of an hour+. But after that, was feeling a little more refreshed. Or it was the time when I'd go weird. Lol...remember, brudder? My giggling period of time. Everything would seem funny to me. Haha...loads of emotions running high during filming. Loads of frayed nerves & such. Everyone was pushed to the brink, stretched to the limit. I think I was one of the calmest there. Or maybe I was devoid of emotions, having most of my emotions drained the day before. But I'm impressed with Daryl's patience. You go, dude! I did the filming thang for him because of our friendship of 8 years...& he has always been great. Quarrelsome(haha!) but great. Heh...his head is so gonna swell. Yupperz, filmed the entire night, & finished barely before the sky lightened. Which was fortunate as those were all night scenes they wanted. But good thing was I got to know new people. Joyce is a fellow fan! Woohoo! Now we can set up the Mraz Fan Club, Vidz! Lol...

Slept till almost 2PM. Bloody tired. But it's alright. It's a Sunday anyway!

Hands in line
Arms close to my side
I'm fighting tides
Of an ocean's undertows
& I figure that I might not make it out
I'm taking empty
But seldom speaking
& a words retreat
Yeah, they breathing histories still at ease
Into stories untold
& my arms unfold

My hands are high
& I'm holding on
Holding on
& I figured that I
I figured that I just might make it
& I'm waking empty
But seldom sleeping
& the words repeat, breathing histories into stories untold
& I unfold

See now, quality isn't what you see now
In the corner of your eyes
& don't be suprised
If you hear the bells ring as they fall from the sky
They sound: bong bong bong bong
But ah yeah yeah yeah
Bong bong bong bong but ah yeah yeah yeah
Oh oh I
& in the night I'm always holding up
Holding up, holding up
I'm holding up this time
I'm holding up this time
Coz' I figure that I
I figure that I just might make it

& I'm waking empty
But seldom sleeping
& the words repeat
Breathing histories & the stories untold
But I unfold

Jason Mraz [Unfold]

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