Thursday, January 6


I still can't believe he's that thick-skin. He should know full well that I hate him hate him hate him after what he did & I swear I will NEVER forgive him but he sent me a cheery Happy New Year message. Strange. But ok. I shan't harbour grudges. It's also because of him that I know Gracie. & even if I've never seen Gracie before, she's sweet & witty & I love her. :)

Passing by Bishan Park Secondary reminds me of him. But there're not bitter-sweet memories anymore. They're just plain bitter. I don't know why. Suddenly, all the memories I have of him have turned bitter, leaving a bad aftertaste in my mouth. So many things remind me of him & they don't bring a pang to my heart anymore. It just makes me think back & become all cynical.

He messaged me. 5 long years. & yet. There're memories tucked away. I refuse to delete them, & yet, I refuse to let them surface again. Too many tears, too much pain. He hurt me the most. Constant contact, but faraway. Strange.

I'm glad that he's gone. My parents were right. It was for my own good. He's weird, & he's gotten himself a weird girlfriend. Perfect match.

Magicians are not my taste. They're great at disappearing acts.

He's supposed to be my best friend. What happened? Where'd he gone now?

I used to like him. Now, I just find myself avoiding him like mad when he's asking me out. It's awkward.

Was he trying to be funny? Or was he just lonely when he tried to pull that stunt on me? It doesn't matter now. I'll probably not see him again for some time.

At least he's still one of my closest friends, & he listens, & he shows his concern. At least he's there, & however much of a bastard he is, I still love him for being such a fab friend.

Too many thoughts of them all playing like a bad movie in my head. In black & white, on a snowy television set. The sounds fade in & out. I hear some, but not all.

That's why I'm happy with what I have now. We're just simple, & we don't have such complications & melodrama between us. & I love him for that.

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