Thursday, February 10

I thought this year's Chinese New Year would be different. Yeah, it was different alright. It's the most disappointing one I ever had.

I was actually excited & that surprises me because it's the first time I feel the frigging CNY spirit. So I was looking forward to this entire thing.

Had reunion dinner at home, which was a good thing. I'd rather have a good sumptuous steamboat at home than eat with flies at my grandma's place.

So the eve was good. & I still had the spirit.

Woke up at 7 AM on CNY itself & went off to Malaysia. The weather was a bitch. We reached there & sat around doing absolutely nothing as the one & only fan stood by the TV set refusing to oscillate.

Sat sweating for about 3 hours & we had lunch. & it felt like a sauna in there.

If you had never been to my grandma's house, you wouldn't know 'dilipidated'. That house is older than my dad. It was built by my late grandpa. & the wooden planks are all mostly rotted away, & really, it looks as if a slight wind can topple the house.

Went off to my maternal side after that, which was close to an hour's journey away.

We got there expecting loads of cheer but it was rather...quiet. & very disappointing. The only cousins I get along with weren't there at all because they were there the day before. It's better at my maternal side. It's a neat cottage & at least it has ceiling fans.

I read a book I brought over & was so tired & bored & restless, I went to sleep at 3 & woke up at 6 for dinner. Watched a bit of the snowy TV & read my book & drowned out everything else.

& my dad played mahjong...all the way till...11 PM. & when we reached home, it was...12.30 PM. & it didn't feel a bit like CNY at all.

The only thing that added to the cheer was the fireworks. There was some rich neighbour over at my maternal side & they bought fireworks, not unlike those you see during National Day. Of course, these are on a smaller scale but the fireworks display was so pretty.

& oh, this huge grassy patch caught quite a fire when another next door neighbour & my brother were playing with sparks & crackers & all sorts of stuff deemed illegal in Singapore. We all had to put out the fire.

Other than the fireworks, there was really nothing which felt like it was CNY. I remained stoic, & was snappy after finding out that my clothes were stained with some polish from the sofa. & my white belt has a black splotch. So I was just really grouchy. & my brother was picking fights with me on the way home in the car & I basically just chewed off his head.

The window at my side was jammed. So I was trying with all my might to get it up again & it couldn't. I pressed the auto button, I pulled, I pushed, I plucked. It wouldn't budge. & my dad tried helping by pressing the buttons at the driver seat's door & my brother's window wound down & he said peevishly, "WEIIII! I'M SLEEPING CAN?"

& I glared at him & continued plucking at my window & I asked my mom whether she smelt the putrid carbon monoxide & my brother went on snidely, "That's why you need to wind up that window." I tell you, I HATE it when he uses that know-it-all tone on me. So I yelled back, "DUH! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? HAVING FUN? YOU THINK YOU SMART AH? COME & GET THIS WINDOW UP LAH! IF YOU CAN'T HELP, SHUDDUP OK?"

Don't fight with me when I'm in a bad mood. It's not good.

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Saw the evening news the other day & there was this story about a 4 year old American boy who drove his parents' car to the games store & back in the middle of the night. Apparently, he wanted to buy some computer games so he drove there in the middle of the night, realised it was closed & drove back home. & all went well until he was supposed to park. He had no idea how to brake & crashed into 3 cars, including the police car which arrived.

I have no idea why but I like that boy. He's got guts.

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I'm worried about some stuff but I have no idea how to let it out. I'm so confused myself. Sigh.

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