I have a horrid temper for a girl. I can't keep my emotions in check. & I seem to enjoy pain.

Someone once described be this way:

She is simply magnetised by steel rods that whacks her straight on the face.

Yes, that someone was talking about another aspect but that's fair enough. It applies here as well. I seem to like having the anger build up inside, boils over, & then letting them leak out bit by bit & do stupid things. Very smart. Smarting knuckles.