Saturday, August 23

Went back to Crescent with Vidz, Tiffy, Clara, Tun & Yix & saw Nora, Olivia & the rest there. Went searching for the teachers especially Ms Lee & Mr Loh...saw Miss Goon & contemplated to run. Saw the new science lab, the new block, the new theatre...WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO CRESCENT??!! Like what Olivia said, 'commerical building, not a school'.

Saw 'Freaky Friday' with Vidz & Tiffy at Lido. It's really's those laugh-a-minute types. Jamie Lee Curtis is convincing, man...ah, miss Tiffy so much. She's so so cute...haven't seen her for so long. As for Vidz, 'Hey Vidz, I've been seeing you for 3 consecutive Saturdays! Do you love me or something?' Haha...bumped into Sarah at Far East. Thinking of going back to Crez again on Friday...oh well, what can I say? I miss it too darn much.

Ting just messaged. Sigh...I don't know what's wrong with everyone. They're all so different now...

Been having weird things going through my mind. I dreamt that I bumped into him. & then I started running away. Why did I ever dream of that? The last time I saw him was 2 years ago, 2001 Christmas at Heeren. Haven't seen him since then. & the last time I messaged him was on his birthday, somewhere in May, when I did something really idiotic. I sent him a card. A card which basically told him how pathetic I am, how screwed up my life is without him. I don't know what possessed me to do that. But I did. He didn't call, didn't message, didn't write back. I'm not surprised at all. I really don't know what I'll do if I bump into him on the streets. Will I stop & stare? Will I say hi & pretend that everything's fine? Or will I spin around & run, away from him, away from everything else? I think it's the latter. I don't think I'll be able to look him in the face, let alone talk to him. Why? Why can't I just let go? It has been 4 years. Why do I still think of him? Why does thinking of him affect me so?

If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Coz' I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me, I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

Westlife [If Your Heart's Not In It]

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