Sunday, October 12

Worst day in the whole of this year. I'm sure everyone agrees with me. I feel like I'm gonna burst. I just need to write. Someplace to vent. But I know that there are things I can't put on the blog. Some things have to be withdrawn. & these withdrawn things are the ones which kill me the most. Templers flaring, emotions running high. It was a horrible, horrible day. I hope we'll never have to go through that again. Realized a lot of things. Some things are not what they seem. You've got to know someone longer, much more deeper. Even in that case, you may not truly know him/her. This is the worst worst day. I felt like I was gonna burst into tears. I wanted to just let loose. But I couldn't. & I refrained myself from doing or saying anything there & then. Coz' it would have made matters worse. I'm so so sorry for everything as well. I feel that I'm at fault as well.

Someone on set reminded me of him. Same hair, same physique, same way of dressing & a slightly similar character. I didn't know what to do. I was like, don't think about it. But it was so so similar. The similarities are uncanny. Well, no surprise. There are about half a million people out there who look like him. But it kills. It kills. I couldn't stop staring. & I was staring & staring & I felt weird. That someone could resemble someone else so much. I wish I could just forget his name, but I can't.

Filming for the past 3 days. Tomorrow's the last day. I hope everything turn out fine. Please, let everything be fine.

Had LVP test today. It was ok. Not easey-peasey, not really difficult as well. Just ok...

Andrew, I'm sorry as well. Made you stay out late...& come all the way down, & drive around. I'm so so sorry...

Don't want to lose my head
So I used my heart instead
Refrained from breaking it all
Brick by brick, building up a wall
It surrounds, it suffocates
It puts the real you to waste
Because nothing is true anymore
From the shell of you, all the way to the very core

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