Thursday, December 4

Yes, I did try to call but it was switched off. & I did message but come to think about it, even if he switches on the phone, he needs a PIN code. So there's absolutely no point. I was just so helplessly lost. Felt like I'm gonna get attacked when I step out of the house. Everyone's like, 'It's only a phone, Sam.' but it's like my life! I've got an obsession with my 6100 & I'm dying without it so whoever took it, GIVE IT BACK! PLEASE PLEASE? I'll go down on my knees! Never mind me, I'm gibberish here.

Alright, I've kinda came to a conclusion. I'll make do with my faulty 3310(must get a new batt coz' the old one keeps dying out on me), earn more money & then get another 6100, perhaps 2nd handed or something in 2 or 3 months time. Dad's actually being quite nice. I guess they realized I'm horribly upset. They were peeved when they first found out that I lost my phone, & they made it seem like I lost it on purpose. Going on about how careless I am & all. But after 2 days of crying my eyes out, (yes, 2 days), they seem to be softer with me now. Mom's like, '(nice tone here) Go get a batt for your old phone & use temporarily lah...then after Chinese New Year got money go buy phone again.' & Dad was like, 'How much is it? If it's like 200+ or 300+, I buy lah!' but obviously, phones at retail prices are like rocket high so forget it. But I really appreciate the offer. & the fact they're attempting to make me feel better. I guess it's the fact that I slept only 3 hours yesterday coz' I was crying too much, & then woke up for work(anyway bro, thank you for the wake up call! You're so right on time!) & couldn't eat breakfast, skipped lunch, & had no appetite at dinner. Could say I didn't have any proper food the entire day. I had 2 kuehs & an ice-cream though. Mom was like, '(nice tone again) Too sad to eat ah?' & my eyes would just well up with tears & I'd go like, 'Not hungry.' But hey, at least they're being nice about it! My mom & dad are really nice actually...

Ting was quite freaked at work...I was still crying at lunch time. I know it's stupid to cry over it. It just so happens I've got tons of new contacts in it & I don't have them recorded anywhere else & Starhub told me that contacts can't be retrieved so I'm like so screwed. Gotta start hunting down all these people again. & of coz', all my messages. & my heart aches coz' I myself forked out 130 for it & it has only been an effing month. Sigh...I mean, I guess I'm not really angry at the person who picked up my phone. Ain't many honest people around nowadays afterall. Most of all, I'm just furious with myself. For letting that happen. I just can't believe myself. Can't believe that I could drop it & not realize it. Just absolutely, terribly furious & disappointed with myself. I waited for 2 whole months for that phone, & Dad finally caved in & gave me money for it on my birthday & then I was taking such great care of it. Treated it better than I treat myself. It even shares the bed with me! & just 1 month & it's gone. God. I miss it so much! Ok ok, I should stop thinking about it now. I don't wanna go to work looking horribly swollen eyed & all again. I felt so ill mood, no appetite, head spinning, eyes swollen & bloody hurting, & then to top it off, gastric. What a great great week it has been. I broke my shoes yesterday as well. My shoes which I've only been wearing for about 3 months or so. The strap snapped & I have no idea where & how. The details of yesterday are so hazy...I can't remember what I did to my phone or my shoes. Sigh.

Eeaarrgghh! I feel like my confidante died. I feel like I've lost a best friend. I feel like I'm drowning. & I can't swim. Double eeaarrgghh.

Tomorrow's just another day
You'll find your way
You'll be ok
You just have to learn to let go

Home Grown [Let Go]

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