Saturday, February 14

Friday the 13th. Ooh, I'm scared. All these mysterious cuts & bruises marring my arms & legs. I really wonder.

Went Queensway with Trina & Dan after school. Trina left us after like 15 mins? So me & Dan went around looking at shirts...& I chose nice checkered button-down shirts. Look so decent & gentlemanly! & he bought one...haha...see, my taste ain't that bad.

After that, went town to meet Xun. Finally. Was waiting for him to knock off at 5. He's working at Heeren's The Wallet Shop. No surprises there. best friend...I can do crap with this fella...can 'fight' & all...that's why I love hanging out with him coz' I'm comfortable with him. Still always there for me...I just need to call, ask 'Are you in town now?' & he can ALWAYS tell by the tone of my voice. If I'm upset, he'd come straight to wherever I am to meet me. Love him to bits. Saw me through loads of hard times. We ate Pastamania at Cine, went Heeren for a while, & then we went to his place where I read comics & he surfed the net. Haha...I would make any excuse to go his house coz' his house is like so goddamn nice. Front porch with a couch, huge tv, garden(there used to be a monkey bar there but it rusted so they took it down), grandfather clock, polished stairs, a soya bean grinding machine(!!!) & 2 maids. So comfy. The one gripe is the steep slope leading up to his house. Gawd. I can't imagine going up the slope everyday. I would die. So anyway, we were just slacking around in his room. Music on, me & the comics, & him & his comp. Haha...& when I was coming down the stairs, I saw these 3 figures sitting in the dark in the living room. Freaked the living daylights out of me. His mom, sis & bro with their faces illuminated by the dim light of the tv set. & his mom was sitting on a rocking chair rocking slowly back & forth. Like Adam's Family like that. But no, apparently, the chandalier has gone mad. Short circuit or something...really glad to have seen Xun...even though I was bad company. I was such a grouch today. But you're still my bestest friend! :) Along with Ting of coz'. & Julian. Haha...

Came home, remembered about marketing, & I rushed through it. Coz' the others didn't do it as well...I think I'm the only who remembered. When I remembered, it was like 11.30PM. So I rushed & completed at 12.10AM. 11 minutes late. Wonder that'll make any difference?

Ting called...asked me for lunch tomorrow. I don't want to go out & face the goddamn sappy world tomorrow. All the pink & red balloons I saw today in town were enough to stoke something inside of me. I had this mad urge to get a pin & burst their bubbles. Ok, I mean, balloons. & Vidz suggests dinner tomorrow. We shall see. Sigh...if I wake up feeling like I need to get out, alright then. If I wake up feeling like crap, then I'll just stay at home & mope.

Ting asked me loads of stuff...then commented on some stuff. She said she has never ever seen me spend so much & give so much effort on someone like this before. & I told her simply that I really cared, & that it was freaking real. & she was rather amazed. She used to ask me why I can't stay interested in someone for long. But this time, I did. & look what happened. & all those brought back floods of memories. So many 'what ifs' resounding deep in my mind. What if we decided to give it another try. Where would we be now? That made me sniffly. I broke down for about 10 mins or so. I haven't cried since last Saturday. But things overwhelmed me & I gave in. I really did love him. I do still love him. But sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Changed the song on my blog. It's 'If' by Bread.

This below accentuates what I said:

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
& it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

Patty Smith [Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough]

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