Spent an hour learning the contours of the bathroom in Cine's bowling alley.

I'm so tired. So dreadfully tired. But somehow, I'm still relentlessly pursuing the truth. I just want an answer. Honestly, is that too much to ask for? I'm not asking for anything much. Just an answer. Does he have to avoid me this way? He said he'll call at 11. It's midnight now. Once again, he failed to keep to his promise. I'm so tired.

I'm such a loser. Loser with a capital L. What in the world is wrong with me? Sense of deja vu. Do I have to be this serious? I suppose when I'm serious about something, I am honestly extreme. I'm an extremist. & oh, a loser too. No backbone, can't stand her own ground. It's sad, really. To be someone like this. Someone whom I'm sure most of you people out there look down on. But yeah, I'm just pathetic.

It was a moment of rage. & these are the deepest yet. I guess that you don't know what you're capable of till you get hit guts on with the full blast of emotions. I'd better avoid my family for the next couple of weeks. Or I'd be packed off to the shrink before I knew it. & oh, Vidz would KILL me.

Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you've said neither am I
But the air outside so soft is saying everything
Everything

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul
But we wouldn't be that brave I know
& the air outside so soft, confessing everything
Everything

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

& it won't matter now
Whatever happens will be
Though the air speaks of all we'll never be
It won't trouble me

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

& it feels so close
Let it take me in
Let it hold me so
I can feel it say
Toad The Wet Sprocket [All I Want]