Hmmm.

Well, the thing is, I don't want to rush into things so soon. That doesn't mean anything negative, just that rushing into things screw up usually.

I mean, I rushed into things with many others. & they all screwed up. Coz' we just didn't know each other well enough.

Jonathan was one. I didn't know him. Just 1 week & bam. Another 2 more weeks & it was gone.

Hong. 3 weeks & bam. Another 1 more month & it was gone.

Him. 1 week & bam. Another 1 week & it was gone.

See a pattern emerging? I never really got to know them well enough. & that's why now, we can't even remain as friends.

For those whom I knew longer before we got together, like Xun & Ju, we're still extremely close friends. They're my besties in fact. I knew Xun for 2 years before we got together. Same goes for Ju. & that's why when things screwed up, they ended amiably.

I just don't want to rush. After all those shit that happened, I just need a break away from it all. Get to know each other better first instead of plunging ourselves into anything.

& I don't want to be so sceptical, but I must say I am. A little. A little weary. I don't want anything to turn out to be a 'mistake'. Because sometimes, people get their feelings confused. A passing fleeting feeling could be interpreted for something more, when sometimes it isn't. Trust me, I've been there before.

I'm just a mite doubtful. So maybe it'll take some time.

I'm feeling all messed up
I have a voice inside my head
It says down to the left
Then it says down to the right
Don't wanna bring you down
But I am really needing guidance now
What would you do within my shoes?

(Go home)
I'm going crazy
(Stay high)
I've never felt so wrong
(Go home)
I want to turn and run
We've got to find a place to go

So when you're feeling kind of mixed up
Just remember it's a mixed up world
& if you're feeling life is just too tough
Just remember you're a real tough girl

I look around my life & all I see is contradiction
& a lack of faith
Cynicism rules the day
I know it has it's place
But I am really needing guidance now
Reminding me I'm strong inside
Sophie Ellis Bextor [Mixed Up World]