Ok, I spent like so many hours yesterday doing the stupid Flash assignment with the rollovers & info boxes & such & guess what? They are nowhere to be found today! I clicked on what was supposed to be my half done assignment & realized that only the coloured boxes were there. My rollovers, info boxes, all missing! So I took a couple of deep breaths & rationalized. I did save. I did the CTL+S thing at intervals. It can't just have disappeared. I managed to keep calm to look through possible folders, & IT JUST DISAPPEARED. Nada. Zilch. Non. GONE. EARGHH! I'm so annoyed. I'm surprised I didn't hyperventilate. Not gonna touch Flash with a 10 feet pole for the next couple of days. I'll probably start all over again on Wed.

Yesterday was spent at Shaun(Teo)'s place with Skye & Darrelle doing Flash. Well, we wanted to start early but us 3 were hungry so we ate lunch at Pastamania(whoopee!) before heading over to his place. When we arrived, we proceeded to swap songs because his connection is just too amazingly fast. Each song took like half a minute! After we were all satisfied, it was already 5. & we finally got started. But not too soon, it was dinner & we put in our best attempts to look demure & polite & all. I bet Shaun was suppressing his laughter. & according to Mrs Teo, I look like Denise. I don't know who she is but what can I say? I've got a common face. Haha...I've been told by people I look like their sister, their cousin, their friend, their ex-girlfriend & what not. I can't remember. So ok, after we were all well-fed(her culinary skills are fab!), we continued with our Flash thang till about 10 at night. Shaun needs a full day to recuperate I suppose. After we yelled his name every 3 secs when things did not turn out the way we wanted, how we shrieked, stomped, panicked, freaked, tore at our hair & threatened to burst into tears. Well, after that much effort, my assignment is still gone. Oh wells. I suppose shit happens.

Took a bus back to town with Darrelle after that...passed by the Esplanade...the area where he brought me to on our first date. Haha...felt the slightest pang. The Merlion, the nice long walk...memories. Lol...well, I suppose I don't hate him so much coz' that 2 weeks were beautiful memories. Even if they all turned out to be lies. All the stuff he told me...acting really shy & all. Makes me want to gag but yeah, he was a well-seasoned liar. & actor. Haha...I suppose he never called back when he said he would because he probably couldn't remember which girl it was. Oddly enough, I never really thought anything was fishy till everything ended. Yeah yeah, put in your best effort to charm my socks off, after which you proceeded to try to make me fall deeper into it, & after which you decided you had your fun & it was time to move on. Absolutely bravo. But I'm glad I wasn't in too deep. I caught myself just in time probably. That wall of defense. That security blanket. I just withheld something. & I'm so glad I did or it would be hell trying to move on. I was crushed of coz', that he put in so much time & effort to make me trust him & all & in the end, I came out of it the loser. Well well. Some things just never change. It just plain sucks that you feel like a failure ALL OVER AGAIN. Fresh hell. Oh well, I've gotta like prop my eyelids open with toothpicks or something to enable me to see better. Hahas.

What have I done this morning? Nothing. Supposed to get started on my I-Search. I mean, I've got a rough outline & all but I haven't even started writing the paper yet. It's looking really bleak for me. & it's the meeting with the Devil himself on Tuesday. I shudder to think. I know it's only 5 minutes but we know it will be hell, no?

I know what I need. A tub of Cookies & Cream ice-cream, a nice hammock of some sort, & Jason Mraz's silky vocals...sigh. Major indulgence. That's life. Nothing to worry about. Except when the CD stops, & you need someone to put it on repeat mode for you.

Or better yet. I need a time out with Awesome Foursome. Vidz, Tiffy & wifey. I'm having Awesome Foursome withdrawal symptoms. They always amuse me to no end. Or probably, with them around, I amuse myself to no end. Both ways work fine. I just need amusement. & some thread of sanity to cling on to.

I mean, so much stuff have slipped my mind. I was supposed to meet Ju 2 Saturdays ago but I was stuck in a library. Blasted. I haven't seen him in months! & I was supposed to meet Mr Gorgeous(haha! Name can't be divulged.) on Wed but yeah, too much work piled up to even go out & have a life. Haven't seen him since forever as well. Actually, since I met...bleargh. But yeah, Mr Gorgeous was just really sweet. His usual self. Said I needed to get some spark back in me. Supposed to do lunch at City Hall on Wed but I forgot about it & I even forgot I forgot till TODAY! Good gosh. He thought I was really busy so he didn't want to bother me about it. Haha...I suppose gotta do lunch this week or something then. & gotta meet Andrew & Bernard this week too. Haven't seen them since like, last year? Possibly since July? Haha...it's been almost a year. But yeah, we catch up with one another once in a while but it ain't good enough. They were possibly my closest buddies while I was working at Starhub. Especially Andrew. Hey Andrew...if you're reading this, I truly appreciate you still caring & letting me know what you think the other day. Know you're watching out for me. :) Thanks a bunch. You're the greatest friend anyone can ever have.

Off for dinner. After which I gotta get started on my I-Search. I really got to.

Just a little more time is all we're asking for
Coz' just a little more time could open closing doors
Just a little uncertainty can bring you down

& nobody wants to know you now
& nobody wants to show you how

So if you're lost & on your own
You can never surrender
& if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
& when the night is cold & dark
You can see, you can see light
Coz' no one can take away your right
To fight & never surrender

With a little perseverance you can get things done
Without the blind adherence that has conquered some

& nobody wants to know you now
& nobody wants to show you how

So if you're lost & on your own
You can never surrender
& if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
& when the night is cold & dark
You can see, you can see light
Coz' no one can take away your right
To fight & never surrender
To never surrender
Corey Hart [Never Surrender]