Friday, February 4

I'm so insensitive at times it's scary. Sometimes, I just don't think how my words could hurt the other party.

Daryl & I were talking on the phone, & the same issue popped up again. The issue which we have talked over just about 2 million times before & the issue he said he would never ever talk about it again. & I was just really disappointed & he felt sorry enough as he already was. & I had to go & say, "Well, was this not what you expect when we got together? What did you expect then? An uptight little prissy?" & he said that he did not expect anything out of me. & I should have left it at that. But I continued & said, "Maybe you would have been better off with a goody little 2 shoes."

I know. It's my fault. If I had never made those mistakes back then, he wouldn't be insecure because of this & we wouldn't be upset because of this. If I never told him, he would be blissfully ignorant. But the thing is, what happens then if he accidentally finds out from someone else? The world is small enough. & if he finds out from someone else, would he ever trust me again? I told him everything because I just want to be honest with him.

He said it's not that he doesn't trust me. It's more of worrying about things that may happen. It's the 4 millionth time I'm telling you, darling. It wouldn't. Never will. Alright? If you don't trust me on anything else, at least trust me on this.

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