Sunday, March 6

You're pushing me away. How did it feel leaving me standing there crying, watching you leaving in the cab?

You said you don't want to fight if anything happens. You sound so resigned. As if you thought about it on your way back to camp. As if you have come to a final conclusion.

I'm not waiting for anyone to come back. You're not second choice. Honestly, I haven't loved anyone as much as I love you. You're far from being the second choice. You're the best thing that ever happened to me & I'm sure I've told you that countless of times before.

It hurts like crazy when you said that I should go with whatever that'll make me happy. It hurts like crazy when you told me that you weren't surprised, just that it added to the finality of his assumptions. It hurts like crazy when you said that you aren't as optimistic anymore. Every word stabs me now.

I've never cried for anyone the way I just did for you. I was so afraid. For a moment there, I thought you would leave me because of that. But you said it'll take a lot more than that. But you already sounded so far away. You didn't respond to my hugs. You didn't respond to whatever I was telling you. I was desperate. I was so desperate. I needed to keep you there. But you sounded so distant. With every tear you dropped, you were already pushing me away.

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