My boyfriend says the maddest (but really quite cute) things.

Him: Do you know snails are androgynous? (or maybe he meant hemaphrodite)
Me: Really?
Him: Yep! You know why?
Me: Why?
Him: Otherwise, can you imagine how they mate? One male snail crawling up to another snail & go, 'OMG! I spent 2 years crawling 4 metres to you & you are a GUY?!'
Me: ...I don't think that's the reason.

& I was helping him look through his essay. He wanted me to read the flow of his essay & I couldn't help it but spot some grammar mistakes which I would highlight in red.

Me: Uh, I think this one has an extra period here.
Him: Don't care! Faster read! Make sense or not?
Me: ...I think this should be a past tense.
Him: Stupid.
Me: I don't want to help you anymore.
Him: Ok ok! Continue reading!
Me: ...I think this sentence is a run-on.
Him: Stu...
Me: I don't want to help you anymore!
Him: STUPENDOUS! SEE! You're stupendous!

So, after hours of watching him play his new game - Spiderman 3 on his Xbox 360, we were finally heading out to buy dinner & I went to the lift lobby & waited for him while he locked the door & all. He didn't appear, & I distinctly heard slippers slapping down the stairs. Didn't think it was him though. & then he called me & told me he was downstairs already. I went downstairs & he was standing next to the part of the wall that was behind the lifts.

Him: I'm Spiderman! (pronounced 'spee-der-man', we like to pronounce it that way)
Me: Why you take the stairs?
Him: I didn't! I'm Spiderman!
Me: No you're not. You took the stairs!
Him: I didn't! I'm the real Spiderman! You don't know only.
Me: No wonder I heard slippers going 'piak piak piak' downstairs.
Him: *gives me an incredulous look* Spiderman DOES NOT go 'piak piak piak'!

& then, when I was going home, we were walking along the stretch of the corridor to the lift lobby.

Me: *points downstairs* Why don't you show me how you Spiderman yourself down?
Him: Cannot!
Me: Why cannot?
Him: After the game then can. Now I can only parachute down & press 9. Once is never enough. (he was playing Battlefield 2 just before that)

You probably wouldn't read this kind of entry but hey, I just think he's funny crazy. :) Makes me laugh.